i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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