Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
