Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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