just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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