Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
