We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
