lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i think i have herpe
just one?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
