I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
