This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
