I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
