Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
