Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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