I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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