happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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