we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
my poor anus
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
