Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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