Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
