Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm at about main and main street
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
