did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
