Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
