Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
