At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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