my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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