i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
