is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
