I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
