Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
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