i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
