i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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