I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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