I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
