Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
