I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
