I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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