I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
