is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
