I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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