ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
