let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
