im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
