Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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