I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
