i don't like sucking hair
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
