it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
