help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
