love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
