Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
