I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
