We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
