Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
