No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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