I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
is it fun? or sober?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
