we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
