Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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